Resuming The Job Search

I'm a student. My main priority right now is to graduate college. That's it. Not get married. Not to party. Not to please anyone else. Get that useless piece of paper. At this very moment though, my life right now, is summer vacation/work. Although, my financial situation has deterred any form of extracurricular activities , I find myself putzing around my apartment on most days.

My original plan last fall was to find some landscaping company, or something along those lines, around Spring and ask if they had any open "gofer" positions come summertime. Nothing wrong with that. You're outside, an honest days work.

Well, mid-October I had an unfortunate injury. Tore the achilles. At 30 years old, this was something I never planned on happening (who plans injuries?).

- When I was in my teens, I tore ligaments in my knee that has been a consistent issue.
- Prior to that, I dislocated my pinky finger in a fight at school.
- In 2009, I had bilateral hip surgeries.
- 3 herniated discs in my spine. Probably related to the hip surgeries.
- Arthritis in my left ankle (the same ankle I tore the achilles).
- Sleep disorders.

The last 4 issues are directly related to my military service. Uncle Sam takes care of me, sometimes. I can't really complain, there are others out there that have had less-than-fortunate experiences with the Veterans Affairs, but I've had my issues with them. No one said it would be easy. Anyway...

I'm mobile. Fully capable of working. Looking to find employment in an industry I like, I scour the internet for job postings and post my pleas on social networking sites. Fortunately, a friend was looking for a Production Assistant on an upcoming reality web-series that would later be broadcasted on a network. He knew I loved the industry, had some understanding of the industry (all theory of course), and that I'm reliable (read: would actually show up on time).

Considering it was my only option, minus delivering food and torturing my car, I jumped on board (Note: I wasn't about to turn away my opportunity to work, nor a chance to work on-set).

- It was a small crew, like 5-6 people. I was the lowest man on the totem poll. I knew my place and didn't speak unless spoken too. Being the new PA, it was like being a Private in the Army all over again (something I know extremely well).

- Reading TAPA's blog and others like it sorta prepared me for the "on-set experience". I kept my expectations low and was nice to everyone.

- The "Talent", just like all people, are hit or miss. Some are prima donnas. Some are humble. My job with them was to make sure they had what they "needed" and assist everyone on the crew... decaf,  grande chai latte, not too hot, soy milk, with a straw.  Get coffee, pfft, too easy. Get coffee multiple times, too easy. Move this. Move that. Sit here. Watch this. Don't let anyone come through here.

- People don't like being addressed as "Sir" or "Ma'am".

- Your day rate is for 12 hours. The equation is 8hrs+4hrsOT=day rate. Anything after that is double time and golden time.

- Read your deal memo. Otherwise you might not get those things.

- I'm lucky I got paid at all, considering I had ZERO set experience.

- Be prepared to work long hours, but only actually work for a few of those hours.
Hurry up and wait. Just like the Army!

- Eat now, taste it later.

- HYDRATE!
The last two days of shooting were a scorcher in NYC and I nearly passed out.

- Know your lingo. The rest of the crew doesn't have the time to explain what something is. Even though it's not a bad thing to ask questions (this shows an genuine interest in a field, people love talking about themselves), but you should have a common understanding of what something is: a bag of dirt/sand, C Stands, big babies, etc.

- Pack the vehicle in accordance to gear importance. If the camera has to be unloaded quickly, it doesn't help if it's packed first, with 20 road cases stacked on top of it.

- Save receipts.

- Always make sure you have gaffers tape.

- Some people aren't what they seem to be. Some suit saw that I was wearing a Bouncing Souls t-shirt and we went on to have a discussion about the "scene" and all the bands we've seen.

- Even if you're absolutely sure you know how to do something, don't say anything. It's probably someone else's job and that's not why you're there.

- Be eager to assist, but not over eager. Just like in the Army, when you volunteer to do something, the next thing you know, you're digging trenches on the grenade range. That being said, you're never "above anything".

That pretty much sums it up. I'm sure there are other things, however I can't recall much. We did so much in such a short timespan that everything's a blur.


So what's next? Back to scouring the internet for some jobs. I made a few contacts on those shoots, so hopefully I can email them asking if they need any assistants or whatever. It's a long shot since I'm still green, but it never hurts to ask. Hell, I might even do something for free, just to get experience. We drove past a couple of big shoots in NYC. Part of me is tempted to walk up to the sets and ask for the PM to see if I can get hired on the spot. Doubtful though, I've read that it's a No No to do that.

Regardless, school starts up again in the fall. I'm eager to get back into the swing of things. I just have to decide what to actually declare as my major, haha. Talking to those on the crew, everyone either majored or minored in Filmmaking. But they also said that it wasn't necessary. Just work. No one has ever asked to see their transcripts or their degree. Production below the line is all blue collar. A trade just like carpentry or plumbing or electrical.

I know what you might be thinking, "Just major in Film, you seem to enjoy it, and that's what you want to do with your life, so study that". The problem with that is it's expensive and Uncle Sam doesn't cover a lot of those costs. The big two film schools are NYU and USC. No one gives a shit if you went West Milford University and studied under some schmuck who worked on a Demi Moore movie in 1994.

When you're first starting out, they only want a reliable body.
- If you're on time, you're late.
- When you're at work, work.

I told myself that once I started down this path, I'd study something else, something to fall back on and pursue my "dream". The problem with that is nothing else appeals to me.

- I'm terrible at mathematics.
- The business world is too uptight.
- I don't understand the IT industry.
- When I worked in kitchens, I never ate.
- Kids piss me off.
- I don't want to work in any sort of Law Enforcement or Civil Service industry.

In 5 years, I'll be an alcoholic selling used Toyotas, haha!

But at least I'll have my degree.

Youtube And Beyond. Part 3

Launched roughly 7 years ago, Freddiew is one of the largest Youtube Channels out there. They have almost 6Million subscribers and a total combined views of over 800Million. That's insane.

So what is Freddiew? Well, it's a channel that releases an action short movie every week (they have since slowed down drastically, but more info on that later).

Just a couple of dudes that are into video games and bad action movies. I give them a lot of credit. Go on Youtube and search "action short", you'll get over 1Million matches. How did it work for them?

They defined their goals, listened to their audience, and made consistent, quality content.

The last one is tricky. When I say consistent, I mean they followed a schedule/routine. Think about network sitcoms. Your favorite show airs on the same day, at the same time, for a season. If your show aired at random times, you'd never watch it, because you'd never know when it was on (DVR has changed this, but it still remains true). But it's also consistently good content. Who doesn't like an action movie? Transformers is awesome because it has shit blowing up, not because it's a deep character study (although Michael Bay can still suck a dick, but the man is good at what he does).

What defines "good content"? Well, what do you want to see? If you want to see something that looks good, make sure you have a high def camera. If you want to see a character driven story, write your ass off. What I've noticed is that majority of the people watching internet shorts are more concerned with the video quality of a movie, versus the story quality. Which is the same with people who go to movie theaters. I'm guilty of this too, if I see a show or movie on television that's broadcasted in Standard Definition, I'll painstakingly search for it in HighDEF, before settling on the former.

Although, more often than not, if an internet short has terrible audio quality, but good video quality, people won't watch it. Whereas, if the video quality is mediocre, but the audio is really good, they'll stick around. Sorry to get all technical, but think about the last time you watched shitty internet video, it was painful wasn't it? If you can find the balance between good audio and good video, you're halfway there.

But what about after you've launched your channel and you've gotten a million views?

Now you can take it to Kickstarter and Indiegogo. It seems fair to do it this way. You've gained your audience. The Freddiew channel existed for a few years before hopping onto Kickstarter for their series Video Game High School (season 1 & season 2), combined total: Over $1Million in donations. They deserve it. They're a couple of dudes who liked making short videos on Youtube, now they have careers. They aren't Spike Lee or Zach Braff or James Franco or Kevin Smith.

Take a look at Griffin Hammond, host of the Youtube Channel, Indy Mogul, a community driven network dedicated to educating viewers on how to make a movie. Griffin recently set out to make a documentary about Sriracha, that red hot sauce that hipsters love (I love Sriracha by the way).

Now Griffin isn't a famous filmmaker by any definition. He's a videographer by trade and hosts a Youtube show. I don't know exactly how much work goes into the show, but I can't imagine it's difficult, the content is community driven, he just has to piece it together and come up with some how-to's here and there (not trying to downplay it here, for all I know he sleeps 1 hour a day and rips his hair out, haha). But he set out and shot a documentary on hot sauce. Then he set up a Kickstarter asking for $5k to get his movie out there. He ended up receiving over $20k. This is totally okay with me. Why?

BECAUSE HE'S ALREADY SHOT THE MOVIE!

It's already finished. He only wanted $5000 and he got over $20,000. Why? Because he has his fan base, albeit relatively small compared to Kevin Smith, but they're fans nonetheless, and because, apparently people want to see a movie about hot sauce, which says a lot about our society. 22 Veterans commit suicide everyday, but hot sauce gets a movie...

Should Griffin taken the full risk and financed the entire aspect of his film? Absolutely. When you're fully committed to something, you're all in. But he wasn't unreasonable with his request. It wasn't $2Million, it was 5 grand.

Filmmaking, just like any business, is risk taking. Take look at the film For Lovers Only. Rumored to cost roughly $1200, the film has grossed over $500k. That's insane. For the cost of a vacation, this guy made a movie. There was no crowd funding here. Social networking is totally responsible for this taking off. 

Side Note: I've read that people complained about the audio being crappy in that film, so keep what I said in mind, find a balance between good audio and good video.

Kevin Smith once gave a bit of advice to a student about how to get movie funding.

When he shot Clerks, he financed most of the movie on Credit Cards. This is both the best and worst advice I've ever heard.

Since the movie isn't a physical medium, there's nothing to repossess. So go ahead and shoot your movie on your Visa, and the banks can't do shit. On the other side of this, you'll have about a 1% percent chance at selling that movie and making that money back. So if your budget is Clerks ($27k), you'll have fun reminiscing over that $27,000 mistake from back in your 20's. Along with still paying for it... while living in your parents basement.

So do yourself a favor, don't listen to Kevin Smith. As a matter of fact...

Fuck Kevin Smith.

That jerkoff still owes me a job (NSFW).

***Kevin, if you're reading this, WHEN'S GONNA BE MY TIME MAN??? I DID YOUR COMIC BOOK SHOW AS A FAVOR, WHERE'S THE RECIPROCATION???***

Kevin Smith - Estimated Net Worth: $25Million.


So there you have it. I could go on and on about the state of filmmaking, independent or not. The subject has been beaten to death. This whole thing stemmed from a discussion on Facebook with a fellow movie buff of mine and I figured I'd post my thoughts about it.

Go make a movie, God knows I want too...

The State of Independent Film. Part 2

Ahhhhh, Kevin Smith. My hero. When you look at us on paper, we have a lot in common. He worked at a video store, I worked at a video store. He's from NJ, I'm from NJ. His father died from a heart attack, my father died from a heart attack. I could go on, but I already sound creepy.

Kevin Smith made his first film for roughly, $27-28k. Clerks has a massive cult following and remains arguably, his best film. I love all his films, including Cop Out (some debate that it's not his film since he didn't write it) and Jersey Girl.

Fast Forward a career and out comes Red State. Completely independently funded ($4Million), Red State premiered at Sundance with Smith saying he would sell the movie "auction style", with the highest bidder taking home his (and his crew) hard work.

What ended up happening, according to critics, is Kevin Smith "imploded". He bought his own movie for $20.00 and proceeded to tell the audience that, and I'm paraphrasing here:

"It's messed up that a distributor will buy my $4Million movie, pump $16Million in Marketing and BAM! just like that it's a $20Million movie. So before we see any of the films profits, the distributor has to recoup expenses, plus interest, while you critics bash every film I've ever made. It'll take years before that money comes back."

The man has a point. He's absolutely right.

So what did he do? Well, he hit the road, with cast in tow and showed his audience the film and gave them a Q&A. And it worked. (Kevin talks about the tour numbers here, a long read)

But do you know why this worked? BECAUSE HE'S KEVIN FUCKING SMITH! Who knows what he'll do when it comes to Clerks III, his final film, but he's said he will NOT crowd fund the movie. I respect that. Why take money out of the wallet of the "next Kevin Smith"?

He said he toured with Red State because he wanted to show future filmmakers that it's possible to show your movie without playing the Hollywood dance. Well, when Ned Stevens from Bumfuck, Iowa makes his movie and starts to tour with it, will he have the same success as Kevin Smith? No. Not a chance in hell. I think all new filmmakers have something like a 1% chance at making it in the industry. But that really counts on what you consider "making it".

Kevin Smith has his audience. His fans will see his movies. So how does a new filmmaker gain an audience?

Youtube.

It's as simple as that (there's actually more to it, but yeah, it's that easy). When Clerks came out, you had barely any options when it came to equipment/distribution. Now, you can shoot a movie, cut the movie, and distribute the movie for under $2k easy. Marketing through social networking is free. If you make good content that appeals to a specific demographic, you'll get viewers. When you gain viewers, you can get Partnership. Then you start making money (not a lot of money from what I've read, anywhere from $.50 to $3.00 per thousand views). After that you can choose what to do, either continue making content for Youtube, or sign onto the big leagues. Believe me, when companies catch wind that you have your own audience, and you're doing it all yourself, they'll come snooping around. Or you can do both! That's the beauty of being your own boss.

But let's look at a Youtube channel that's done really well...

Why Zach Braff, Kristen Bell, and Spike Lee Can Go Fuck Themselves. Part 1

It seems that Spike Lee is the next celebrity in line to use the platform of internet panhandling to gain funds for his next film.

Fuck Spike Lee. Seriously, fuck him.

This aggravates me so much. First it was Kristen Bell with the Veronica Mars Kickstarter. Then it was Zach Braff with his bullshit. Now I've just read that James Franco launched one a while back for his bullshit too. But he just dressed it up differently.

What in the flying fuck is this shit? Who do these people think they are?

I'll tell you:

Zach Braff - Estimated Net Worth:    $22Million.
Kristen Bell - Estimated Net Worth:  $8Million.
Spike Lee - Estimated Net Worth:   $40Million.
James Franco - Estimated Net Worth:  $20Million.

I don't know how reliable the source is for that information, I just googled it. But I can believe these numbers to be fairly accurate. I mean, it's frigging SPIKE LEE, I'd think he's worth more than that.

On one side, I can understand why they do it. When you get studio money to make a movie, you lose things like creative control or final cut of your film, which can take away from your "vision". But at the end of the day, the movie business is still a business. They're giving you a boat load of money so you can go galavanting out on the street making a movie, of course they're going to want some control.

Artistic integrity of a film is one thing, but out right begging is frigging bullshit. You, the "Artist", are potentially sitting on millions of dollars, and you're asking you fans to shell out their hard earned cash so you can make the movie you want? Are you kidding me?!?

"Ohhhhh mannn, I really wanna make my movie, MY WAY, but I don't wanna risk losing my money... I KNOW! I'll ask my diehard fans, the ones who have stuck with me since my humble beginnings, to do it. Hell, they only slave away at jobs they hate to earn a subpar income. Meanwhile, this will allow me to play PRETEND! Thanks guys, you really mean a lot to me!"

As a person who wants nothing more in life than to work in the film industry, write and direct films, rub elbows with known, established artists, this seriously pisses me off to no end. It's also a reason why I don't want to be in that industry. None of these people are grounded anymore. I know it's Hollywood and celebrities don't have the same issues that us common folk have, but seriously??? Think about how long you have to work to earn your money.

In my life, I've worked in Theater, some Film/TV, and the Military. In between all that, I've held meaningless dead-end jobs. I know how hard I've worked to earn my money. I've experienced being treated like absolute garbage to earn my money. The last thing I want to do is shell out that cash so Zach Braff can make a movie his way...

I say this as a fan of all these celebrities, but...

Fuck Spike Lee. Fuck Zach Braff. Fuck Kristen Bell. Fuck James Franco.

So what's a new filmmaker to do? Let's take a look at a Writer/Director I admire... a lot...

Remember the good times...

I lost another friend. Found out this morning. I can't act like I was his best friend, but I knew him and I knew him pretty well.

When I think of him, two words come to mind; charisma and talent.

He had a such a knack for life. Lived without fear. Which was funny considering he was a hemophiliac, we used to tell him to take it easy as he would crawl through a window surrounded by broken glass. He'd turn to us and give us that mischievous smile he had, almost saying, "What? Are you afraid?"

We were part of this youth group that ran a haunted house in a church. It wasn't necessarily a church youth group, it was a youth group that happened to be located in a church. After all the Halloween shenanigans passed, they'd have a sleep over and we'd watch movies all night. Each room had a different theme, with the biggest room running the Star Wars trilogy in surround sound. The advisors of the group, the "grown ups",  would lock the doors at like 9-10pm and we couldn't leave, or if we did leave, we couldn't get back in unless we had an inside source open the door for us. This was a coordinated effort considering that cell phones weren't the norm back then. Nowadays you could just text your partner in crime, "Hey, open the door for me...LULZ!!!" and you're home free.

Anyway...

Long after everyone would pass out to a galaxy far, far away... We'd sneak out to handle our business and be the rejects that our little town labeled us. It was a badge we all wore proudly, mostly because we mocked it. Even after others in our group passed out or moved on for other fun, him and I would still be trucking, passing the bottle (I took small sips because I'm a lightweight with booze, he would down a bottle of JD like water). It got to the point where we would crave food and raid the church fridge for breakfast. He was so eccentric in his speech, "Let's enjoy breakfast on the veranda". It's suburban New Jersey, at a church, there is no veranda, but that was him, making things better than what they were.

We turned the kitchen into a culinary disaster. Eggs, flour, milk, coffee grinds, juice, all over the place. I mean, we were making scrambled eggs with coffee, something simple, but if Gordon Ramsey witnessed this, he'd certainly fire both of us.

We watched the sun come up, eating terrible eggs, drinking terrible coffee. When the time came to retreat, we realized the fatal mistake: We locked ourselves out. My friend didn't hesitate. Knowing that everyone was asleep, he climbed onto the awning and began searching for unlocked windows. I watched nervously (and safely I might add) from the grass, thinking, "One wrong step and we're in a lot of trouble". All it would take is some nosey geriatric going on their morning walk, observing this spectacle of two teenagers outside a church, looking haggard, one of them scaling a building, trying to break-in, next thing you know the cops show up making all sorts of a ruckus and we both get detained. Thankfully, this didn't happen, and my friend found an unlocked window and opened the door.

The youth group also organized an annual ski trip. Which meant, "Go away for a weekend, sneak a lot of booze and whatnot, spend the entire weekend in your hotel room, never sleep, maybe ski/snowboard". The advisors were adement about finding paraphernalia. They searched luggage, toiletries, physical pat downs, but we still found a way to have a good time. I think out of the many years I was involved with the youth group, I hit the slopes once, the rest of the time we partied like we were in The Rolling Stones. Funny, considering he was THE Beatles fanatic.

We watched the demolition of a local avionics tower from his rooftop. We almost missed it because of pre-demolition rituals.

Then there was the music.

Growing up, music was an outlet. I wasn't a phenomenal musician as a kid and my tastes reflected that. My friend however, was a phenomenal musician. It's like the piano and him were made for each other. He could play anything and I mean ANYTHING on the piano. Watching his fingers on the keys was like witnessing God speak, it was amazing. They way he did it was effortless.

It's funny thinking about these times. I (we) did a lot of dumb shit as kids. I look at my nieces and nephew and try to imagine what they're going to be like when they reach that age. Will they make the same choices? How will I react when and if they make those choices? The only reason is because I know, at that age, you're invulnerable, you're immortal, nothing can kill you. But thinking about all the dumb shit as an adult, it's a miracle I made it out alive. But at the same time, it's nothing compared to what could've been. There are a million other childhoods that were worse.

My friend taught me to be fearless. Even with his condition. He never directly said it, but his actions spoke volumes. He never backed down from anything or anyone. I wish I was more like him in that retrospect.

All this makes me think of all the friends I've lost too soon. I wish I was a better friend to them, maybe they'd still be here. But at the same time, I know I can't save everyone. I hope my friends realize this too.

Rest easy Christian. Know that you are loved and dearly missed.

Well, I may have done myself in...

Recent entertainment news said that Friends was coming back for another season (this has since been debunked and nothing more than a rumor). I have to admit, I was stoked. I was also a little concerned, hasn't everything that needed to be said, already been said? What could they do with these characters that I actually cared about?

Originally, I didn't actually like Friends. In all honesty, it was safe to say I hated Friends. It was an unbelievable show. How the hell do these people manage to survive, even thrive, in Manhattan? They couldn't possibly afford those apartments! Ross is a psycho stalker. Chandler is a coke fiend. Joey is a deadbeat moron. Monica has severe OCD and should be locked in an asylum. Rachel is a stuck up rich girl with daddy issues. And Phoebe is so messed up from her childhood, she doesn't even live on this planet... She's also a terrible musician, yet, manages to maintain a consistent gig at a coffee house.

Why would anyone like this show?

Because, people related to it and in my later years, I related to it. Much like how I related to Seinfeld (hated that show too, now, I own all the seasons on DVD). My sister LOVES(D) this show. I remember her and my other sister (both older) designating Thursday nights to this show. You couldn't talk when it was on, and heaven help you if there was a power surge or you changed the channel... It's a safe bet that my sister knows these characters. Me? Well, I'd get nauseous whenever I would hear that ridiculous theme song. Still do.

I cared for the characters and their quirks are what made them such great characters. It's unfortunate that later in their careers, the actors actually became their characters (I'm looking at you Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc), much like that Cosmo Kramer...

When I was stationed in Georgia, away from all the things that I called home, and had a horrible day (or week), I would throw on a Friends DVD and honestly forget about what was bothering me. It really was a funny show. Thirty million other people share my sentiments.

So what now? Well, with all this hubbub, I texted my sister that the reunion was a rumor (sadface). She replied she knew (no sadface). I went on to say that maybe it's good, because I don't know what else they could do with all the characters. She said that there was a ton of things they could do; Rachel in Paris, Monica/Chandler with the baby, etc. They could do something...

I IMMEDIATELY CALLED HER OUT!!!

Rachel never went to Paris, she got off the plane after Phoebe delayed the flight with a broken left phalange. Rachel went back to Ross because she still had feelings for him. IT WAS IN THE LAST DAMN EPISODE OF THE SERIES!!!

My sister didn't remember. She didn't remember one of the most important scenes in her favorite sitcom.

*Note: She did text me "baby", what she didn't notice was that it wasn't a baby, it was BABIES. Jack and Erica... Wrong on two accounts.

So I challenged her to a Friends Trivia. I'm pretty sure theres some stupid thing we could buy that has all the questions and whatever. Let's face it, THAT'S NOT FUN!

If she wins, I'll babysit 10 times, 6 hours each session. If I win, well, I haven't thought of anything yet, but it has to be good, really good. I suggested we switch houses, ala Friends, but that was quickly shot down... Maybe like, "buy-my-books-for-the-rest-of-my-college-semesters" good... I don't know, but it has to be good.


We need to figure out how the game will go and who will make questions. It should be a private/invite spectacle, but needless to say, I will shoot video of the preparations and some of the trivia. Make a party out of this. Honestly, it's a good reason. I don't hang out with my family enough.